Sunday, March 20, 2005
...FaMe??
"Ihang, gusto mo bang mag-artista?"
That was what my Tito in Balungz told me as we arrived.
Me: Huh? Why? *looks sarcastic in disbelief*
Tito Tolits: May kilala kasi akong talent scout ng ABS. Naghahanap ng bagong talent!
Me: Uhhh... Ayoko! Mas gusto kong mag-model!
Tito Tolits: Sige na, ihang.
My dad: Ayaw niyan, magsu-summa cum laude yan sa UP!
I know, I know. WTF. It was still funny though. Funny how I've grown from the ABS-CCAI workshopper I was three years ago. My workshopmates and I were so eager to apply for VTRs at ABS (I ended up not going because I had to go back to Dagupan) before. We dreamt of being famous. One of my workshopmates, Ralph Hilaga, even wrote in his farewell note, See you at the Oscars.
But now when the opportunity I've looked for three years ago finally came, I can't believe I'm declining. I guess I've matured. I guess I know now what I really want. I want to model, only that.
Perhaps I've realized being famous isn't everything. That I'd rather inspire others than make them envious of me.
Yes, I have grown. I've grown past my cute teenybopper image. Past my kikay stage. I've learned how to shrug off insecurities (and only think about them when I see any girl past 5'4).
Then again, I still have much to learn. I will be 17 in two months and six days, yet I still don't think I'm mature enough. Although for my age, I am.
I don't know what image I'll be another three years from now. I don't know if I'll still rock to OPM. I don't know if I'll still wear flat flip-flops even if I'm only 5'3-point-something. I don't know if I'll still be Chezki da Cowgrrl.
Okay. I dunno how to end this.
I'm just NOT going to accept the offer. LOL. =P
