Monday, September 12, 2005
Stress levels sky-rocketing...
...with self-confidence plummeting to its nadir.
Is there some kind of research thingy that explains how indirectly proportional an individual's self-confidence is to sudden increases in stress levels?
I just feel so worthless. It's actually worse than mediocrity. Ewan, I just feel so invisible. As if anyone can just pass by me and not notice there actually was someone he or she passed by. Basta I feel so unimportant. The reason? I do not know either. Inexplicable, really.
Or maybe I'm just losing faith in myself because the Psych Soc interviews are on Wednesday and I don't think I'm prepared at all. I know that each app gets this feeling but still, seeing it from the micro level, it's an extremely heavy load of emotional baggage.
What if I don't pass?
What if they reject me?
What if they think my best isn't good enough?
Looks like I'll be finding comfort again in the one friend who can turn vulnerability into inner strength... I guess Red (Bull) and I will be spending two of our madaling-araws together once more. Help me, Red. I badly need you.
Oh, don't mind me.
I don't even know what I'm talking about.
*This entry really sucks, I know. My apologies.
