Monday, November 14, 2005
Where are you, Happy Girl?
In Anthro 10, I learned that the most effective way to study and observe an individual or a group of people is to look at things from the Other point of view. Why? The Other is able to detect flaws (in cultural context, of course, to say so is rather racist) that the Self would simply overlook and probably deny.
Enough of this technical shit.
A block personality just told me this afternoon that the things I wrote in my Friendster profile are completely different from the way I act around them. She was wondering how someone who seems to constantly have a smile plastered on her face can be so depressed at the same time.
And I didn't really know that. Sure, I'm sad and all, but I don't really mean to seem sad. I don't want others around me to ask what's wrong because I don't want to add to their troubles, your troubles. I want everyone to remember me as Happy Girl. I don't want to show that I have problems, that I cry at night, or that I do take things seriously.
And so my mask is nearly broken.
Maybe it's time to stop pretending.
