Wednesday, September 28, 2005

The things I have to deal with aside from PMS.

There's blood in your coffee. (from Zaw's icon) And please take the time in reading this. Screw these capitalists! Mamatay na sila!

Yesterday, I lost my Globe cellphone. I have no idea if it fell from my bag or I just left it in the cab. I was thinking of my exams for next week (that's how GC I am) so my mind drifted away just like that. Darn. It's not just about the phone, it's about the memory card filled with, well, memories! First, it had the only pic where the Bob Ongs, my third year section barkada, were complete. Second, I had LOTS of pics with my high school batchmates that I wasn't able to transfer to my computer yet. One-half of my high school memoirs... ALL GONE! Man, I just feel so bad. I wish it was just the Sun phone I lost!

Everyone seems horrified at the way I look right now. Because I have been staying up for the past few weeks and my period will come anytime now (Period, please come na so I can be free on our app culminating activity!), I've grown volcanoes on my forehead. Just great. So I have to make sure I apply benzoyl peroxide each morning to prevent those volcanoes from becoming craters.

My parents are starting to ask about my debut plans. I have NO idea yet, and NO, I don't want my motif to be pink and green (ugh, everybody thinks I'll always be choosing pink and green). I'm not going for a luau either even if I would love to hear reggae playing all night since, well, I just don't want to have a luau. My mom already told Leo Posadas about our plans and most probably he's going to do my makeup. (Man, he's just too good! He made my mom 10 years younger with the makeup he did for her earlier. She looked more like a bride than a ninang!)

Any suggestions for my debut party?

Anyway.

I'm getting my grade tomorrow in Anthro 10, my favorite subject! *bites nails*

Before, I realized how lucky I was because I only had to take two final exams (Span 10 and Math 17) next week. Little did I know that Finals Week would still be a whole week of exams for me. I'll be taking a long exam in Soc Sci 2 on Monday, a long exam in Math 17 on Tuesday, the Span 10 departmental exam on Wednesday, and the Math 17 final exam on Saturday. Wish me luck, guys.

Oh, and by the way, the Spoken Word Event's on Thursday, October 6, 2-6 PM at the Bahay ng Alumni steps. Man, I should be planning about my performance by now! Still, I have no ideas yet. But I don't want to cram. Oh well.

Yikee, I passed the Psych Soc interview! I don't know when the culminating activity is yet. We're supposed to be thinking of fund-raisers by now. My dad suggested we kidnap some rich kid and ask for a handsome ransom.

Sembreak's just a few days away. I just can't wait to be free. ;)

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Gotta love Tubero signs!

...and all those other signs that are sooo Pinoy. I saw Marc Logan's feature in TV Patrol World just a few moments ago. It was totally hilarious!

No other sign found anywhere else in the world would have said it better than Bawal Umihi Dito or Bawal Magtapon ng Basura Dito. Oh, and what about Bawal Magtapon ng BASORA Dito?

There was another one that said BAWAL NANG PUMITAS NG TALBOS DITO: Kung sino ka mang pumipitas dito, blah blah blah... Basta, it was so madrama--it was more like a suicide letter!

Marc also showed the evolution of the typical Tubero sign usually found on postes from those bearing Filipino names to those bearing imported names like JR, Josh, etc. Haha, I agree. Imagine how hilarious it would be to see this posted on the nearby poste:
TUBERO
JOSH
486-9515

in contrast to the usual

TUBERO
JUAN
486-9515

Diba?

Haaay. I just love Pinoy culture. It's so amusing yet so endearing. I can totally relate with all those jolog stuff. I guess I should take Pan Pil 17 (An Introduction to Filipino Pop Culture) next sem too. ;)

Well, what do you know. The spirit of nationalism has possessed me again despite our current political condition. Must. Stay. Inside. ;)

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Performance arts, anyone?

UGNAYAN 2005. What a way to end the day and to de-stress.

To give us an idea of how our Spoken Word Event or lit night for CW 10 should be, Ms. Roldan made us watch this international performance arts showcase. And believe it was way more than what I've expected. I thought it would just be like watching a movie after that stiff neck-and-migraine-causing Math 17 exam. You know, all relaxed and stuff. But as the first performance started, Kaye, Val, and I knew we were in for something bigger--not just the usual quiet lit night thing, but more extreme performances.

The first presentation was done by this Australian (?) guy whose voice-over about pedophilia was barely heard since it was played by a jeepney's sound system. And yes, he rented the jeepney just for that. He literally carved the letters L-O-V-E onto his skin, which soon bled crimson. He also smashed two plates onto his head, and yes, it bled too. He dipped rags, bling bling, and the rest of his props in a pail full of pig's blood and shook them for audience interaction. LOL. The guy also had a pig's head chained to the jeep. Gahhd, if you were there, you would've been shocked. No, horrified. Oh well. That's art.

Then there was this guy who was supposedly on his deathbed singing Lupang Hinirang to the tune of My Way. Then he just stopped at "At ang mamatay ng dahil sa...." probably to signify the people's common doubt about the saying "The Filipino is worth dying for." Actually he didn't stop. He just didn't finish it but he kept repeating the last syllable, as if imitating the sound of a flat line. Yikee, being overanalytic again! ;)

And here was a memorable one aside from the other performance wherein this guy took off his clothes until he was only in his briefs: There was this guy with the US flag painted on his head to his torso. He began walking around asking people, "Who are you?", until he finally washed away the paint. Only the Philippine flag was left since it was taped. Then he turned the other way around and painted on his back was "Who am I?". He then turned around again and painted jail bars on the Philippine flag. And then he left. That would have to be my favorite performance. (No, it wasn't the one with the guy in just briefs!)

We weren't able to finish the show since we have class tomorrow morning but the three of us definitely liked it. I'm sure we all went home happy, satisfied, and of course, inspired.

Our Spoken Word Event is two weeks from now and since earlier, I've already been thinking about what to do. And noo, I'm not going to perform in just undies!

Can't wait! ;)

Sunday, September 18, 2005

I just got my social life back.

Yesterday was a rather tough to manage yet was super fun. I got to hang with high school and college friends and family all in one day. How great could that be?

UAAP Mania
Clauds () and I had to spend an hour and a half in line to get upper box tix to the Nestle Nonstop Cheerdance Competition under the scorching heat of the sun (and I was getting bugnutin already) only to find out moments later there were only 50 tickets left. And there were about a hundred and fifty people before us! Kumusta naman?! We knew we were wasting our time so we just decided to satisfy our KFC craving.

ARGH. Damn UAAP tickets. We weren't even able to spot a scalper. Pft.

*Payong Girls. Clauds and I under the sun with only one payong to shield us.

Food tripping, as always.
I literally drank KFC gravy! Yummy! It's been like seven months since I've eaten at KFC. LOL. Oh, and that just wasn't enough. Clauds and I decided to burn some calories just to walk a couple of feet to Ice Monster. LOL. Clauds, ang takaw pala natin!

*Ice Queen! Ice Monster rocks, man!

Gateway, it is!
After our icy experience, we headed straight to Gateway to buy Ate Jack's and Val's gifts. We also decided to watch Sky High. On our way, someone called me and tapped on my shoulder. I was really surprised to find Prince. Turns out he didn't have tickets too, and he made sabit with us until he found Arman. LOL.

I accompanied Clauds to the perfume section and it was a rather hilarious experience. She said the original Clean smelled like car freshener. Hoy, bilhin mo kasi yung Provence! She said she didn't like D&G Light Blue. Clean Fun was alright, but she ended up liking Lacoste Touch of Pink. But she actually hates pink. Labo.

Anyway, we later watched Sky High. We weren't able to find two magkatabi seats but two ladies were kind enough to move for us. Yay! Before the movie started, we saw the trailer of the Tagalized My Sassy Girl. I want to see it for the following reasons: One, I still haven't seen the ending. Crappy DVD I bought online. Pft. Two, I'm just curious about the whole thing being Tagalized. Three, I want to find out if I would make me cry (hagulgol, actually) like the original one did. Anyway. Clauds and I are turning bi because of Steven Strait and Danielle Panabaker! They're like soooo HOT! *daydreams*

After the movie, we met up with the rest of my batchmates, who will be attending Val's party as well, at Taco Bell. I introduced Clauds to them before she left with my tear gas spray. You know, for protection. We then left Gateway to surprise Val. Little did we know we were the ones in for a bigger surprise.

*Bayo-man. Prince refusing to be caught inside Bayo.

Val's Party
OMGOMGOMG. A la Rhea, of course. VAL HAD HER HAIR CURLED! As in like mad curls! And she looked great! She shared how she was actually mistaken for a foreigner one time. Naks! Anyway, the party was a great way for everyone to catch up on each other's lives. We formed this big circle and there was nothing but laughter and asaran. I really miss high school. :( Right that moment, I felt like Chesca Sumilang the girl everybody knew in her high school, not Chesca Sumilang the mediocre nobody in her university. (Not that it's a big deal though. Still, there's a huge difference.)

After the party, we walked to Papa Nards' compound, which happened to be in Teacher's Village too. The walk was quite long although I wished I could freeze time with those guys. It will take long again before we could get together again. At least for me and them since there are only me, Daryl, Tanya, and Kate here in QC.

*Birthday wishes! Val blowing her candles.

*The Happy Tree Friends! We were one big happy bunch that night.

Ate Jack's Party + INUMAN
They were already playing Bingo when I arrived. I was full from Val's handa but I still ate pasta and fruit salad. Yumyumyum! I would have passed for a glutton yesterday, I swear. I slept for a while until Kuya Wally woke me up. It was time for inuman! Mudslide and gin plus Ponkana are loooove. The birthday girl was getting red already but since it was her day, she was forced to drink more than she could. Go, Ate Jack! I had a bit too much to drink too although I didn't get wasted. However, I still found myself waking up this morning with a slight headache. Pft.

Anyway.

Despite having redeemed my social life, I will temporarily bid it farewell again. I have to finish my CNF 2 and to review for my Math 17 fourth long exam on Wednesday. Karir na naman ito. We only have a few weeks 'til sembreak so we'd better be productive. After that, we can have our social lives back again. ;)

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Gemini.

This day was a whole day of moodswings. So much for a true blue Gemini if you ask me. From having shaky palms in anticipation of the 3rd Math 17 long exam results to almost fainting in total surprise as I saw my score to luckily getting a perfect score (well, thanks to the bonus points) in the Soc Sci 2 quiz to rejoicing about Prof Jocano's absence to making chika in the rain on the way to Katag with Monmon, Kaye, and Val to another active day in Span 10 to... *sigh*

I Wanted The Sun To Shine
I never expected to get a 79% in my latest Math 17 long exam. Mico and Mia weren't happy about theirs, and among the three of us, I had the lowest class standing. Mico began crumpling his bluebook as Mia was squirming in her seat as she went through hers. It took too long before I actually got hold of mine. As I immediately fixed my gaze on the red marks at the bottom of the cover page, I wanted to shout out loud in victory. I had indeed done better than the last exam. I also found out that if I wasn't that careless in a few items, I would have gotten 80% or more!

Got lucky with the Soc Sci 2 quiz too. Talk about reviewing like ten minutes before the class started?! Oh, and Prof Jocano didn't come to class. So Val, Monmon, Kaye, and I had early lunch. Argh. Nabinyagan yung Havaianas High ko!

But Rain Was All There Was
I don't think I ended my day right. I just realized how wrong I was about my judgment about a certain someone despite having known him for almost ten years. I was able to see what there really was beneath the arrogance and pride--a good heart that would have given everything if it were only possible. So I'm in senti mode again. The moment I found out I wanted to cry and reach out. But I couldn't. I had closed my doors anyway so why bother?

I think I took too long during the Psych Soc interview yesterday. I actually ~~barfed~~ thew up before I met my mom at Gateway because I wasn't able to eat lunch plus the tension I felt. I'm glad it's all over.

I used to think horoscopes were freaky.

I still think they are. But living la vida Gemini is even freakier.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Stress levels sky-rocketing...

...with self-confidence plummeting to its nadir.

Is there some kind of research thingy that explains how indirectly proportional an individual's self-confidence is to sudden increases in stress levels?

I just feel so worthless. It's actually worse than mediocrity. Ewan, I just feel so invisible. As if anyone can just pass by me and not notice there actually was someone he or she passed by. Basta I feel so unimportant. The reason? I do not know either. Inexplicable, really.

Or maybe I'm just losing faith in myself because the Psych Soc interviews are on Wednesday and I don't think I'm prepared at all. I know that each app gets this feeling but still, seeing it from the micro level, it's an extremely heavy load of emotional baggage.

What if I don't pass?

What if they reject me?

What if they think my best isn't good enough?

Looks like I'll be finding comfort again in the one friend who can turn vulnerability into inner strength... I guess Red (Bull) and I will be spending two of our madaling-araws together once more. Help me, Red. I badly need you.

Oh, don't mind me.

I don't even know what I'm talking about.

*This entry really sucks, I know. My apologies.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Cartoon addicts ain't dorks.

It was getting pretty boring in CAL 310. We had spent an hour waiting for our CW 10 prof. I really wanted to curse that make-up class since it was supposed to be three hours. And just when I was about to give in to the urge of picking up my things and leaving, Val started singing Britney's Deep in My Heart (from her first ever album). I suddenly turned to look at her but I did not look disgusted as everyone would have expected. Instead, I was extremely fascinated that someone shared the same love for the Baby One More Time album like I had when I was in Grade 5.

Oh, and we ended up singing a few parts of From the Bottom of My Broken Heart and I Will Still Love You. And believe me, it wasn't just singing. You could see the kunot on our foreheads and our heads moved to the rhythm. It's been a while since I felt like Brit's #1 fan. Not that I still I am. I just missed the feeling since I knew the lyrics of all her songs in Baby One More Time by heart.

Only after a few moments, while I was doing my critique on Meryll's work, I overheard Rina and Val talking about Disney cartoons they grew up with. Without any hesitation, I joined in. Then Regina did. And we were all laughing about how adik we all were with the TV. Land Before Time was the first movie ever to make Rina and me cry. Later on we'd sing songs from Disney movies and even those non-Disney ones. Ang adik, sobra!

Rina: Oh my gosh, do guys remember Power Rangers?!
Me: Yeaaaaah! I wanted to be Triniiiii!
Rina: YEAH, ME TOO! Ayoko si Kimberly, ang arte-arte niya!
Kaye: Oo nga, tas si Rita Repulsa!
All: HAHA, YEAH! OO NGA!

Okay. So I was still able to sing a few lines of songs from Snow White (Rina and I hated Snow White so much!), Sleeping Beauty (Rina and I shared the same lesbo tendencies over seeing Aurora's best angle on TV), Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Cinderella (Cinderelly, Cinderelly, night and day it's Cinderelly...), Lady and the Tramp, Aladdin, Pocahontas, Mulan, Anastasia, The Prince of Egypt... Gahhd. I love my generation. =D

Wow, it's a good feeling when you find co-Disney babies who wouldn't think you're a dork when you still know the songs from the movies you grew up watching. Relieving to be exact. ;)

I sooo miss being a kid. Back then all I had to do right after school was clean up, change, do my homework, then go straight to the TV to watch cartoon. I don't even remember when I stopped watching cartoons. All I know is I wanted so much to be home by 6:00p when I was 12 so I could watch the Powerpuff Girls on Cartoon Network. And I spent all summer making subaybay Fairly Oddparents on Nick before having lunch.

Back then there was still no Math 17. I was just stuck memorizing the multiplication table, and the table of 8 would be the hardest challenge I had to face. No cellphone, no Internet, no exposure to the evils of telebabad (just yet). It was just me and the TV and/or VHS player.

And now I start to thank my parents for doing a great job in making sure I watched the right TV shows and movies. Actually, they'd cover my eyes during even just a kissing scene when we watch movies together. And I'm like, 17. If you ask me, I'd rather Spongebob Squarepants or the Fairly Oddparents instead of some teenybopper TV series with trying-hard amateurs.

Cartoons will never be dorky. Geez, don't be in such a hurry to grow up. You'll never know how the simplest joys in life could cause the longest lasting highs. =D

Monday, September 05, 2005

¿Estoy enamorada?

In love? I'm in love?

Give me a break.

We would like to acknowledge the presence of Denial Queen in the house. Welcome to the party, Ms. DQ.

We were having this guessing game in Span 10 earlier. One group will tell descriptions of a certain person in class and the others will ask questions. The usual adjectives were used. Es hermosa, es delgada, es sexy, es blah blah blah, estas.... enamorada. Then came the questions: ¿Lleva una camisa azul? ¿Con quien esta enamorada? Oh yes. And that person they were talking about was me.

WAAAA. Señor Ebreo said I'm sikat na. LOL. As if. I found out after the class that it was Joy Co who told the group who recited that I was in love. Sasakalin kita, Joy! LOL. I am not in love, for your information! I'm just in like! And it's no big deal 'coz everyone likes someone (else)!

Engkee! I downloaded na As Lovers Go. It's nice! I got kilig. I need to listen to more emo again! ;)

Yikes. I'm so addicted to Ever After by Bonnie Bailey. My day won't be complete until I get to hear this at least once! Adikadikadikadik. =P

Enough of this love thing. LET. ME. REPEAT.

No estoy enamorada, ¿entiendes?

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Sugar high!*

I just realized I've eaten too much chocolate. I'm too nauseous to reread my Soc Sci 2 notes or to try doing my Math 17 homework. I'm still savoring the aftertaste of too much Hersheys and the exhaustion that doesn't feel bad at all. ;)

I just got home from the shoot for Ate Bianca's article for the Hersheys Happiness Campaign. I modeled along with other girls from MC. Hehe, I got bronzed kanina. ;) Will post pics after that issue of 2bU! comes out. It actually funner having the makeup done (I had to lie down so the bar code could be drawn) than the actual shoot coz it only took a while. But it was funnest helping out and watching the other girls get made up and have their pics taken. =P

Okay okay, enough for now. I'm gonna have to start studying now otherwise I'll have to summon the powers of Red Bull again later.

BTW, thanks for making part of the shoot, Ate Biancs! ;) Oh, and thanks for the hot, hot, hot makeup, Tatin! ;)

****

Off-Topic: Listening to Crash Into Me right now. I remember last Thursday while I was in Katag waiting for my turn, someone was playing this song with his guitar. Waaa, I fell in love that time. Not with the guy, of course. I just remembered getting giddy over this song. ;)

Congrats, by the way, to Ate Bianca for winning the Ramon Magsaysay Essay Writing Competition! Galing galing! =D

****

Crash. Into. Me.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

...but I am cleaning up so well.

Oh yes. I am cleaning up so friggin well. ;)

A lesson learned today: To get you in an I'm-actually-excited-to-study mood, exercise.

I had to wake up at 6 AM for the 7-AM nook cleanup at school. I thought all we had to do was clear out the nook of unneeded stuff but when I got there, everyone was scrubbing the whole place clean! I didn't know what to do and I think my OC-ness with stains caused us to take too long. After moments of searching for the perfect cleaning role, I ended up as the water girl. In Filipino, ang tagapuno at tagadala ng balde ng tubig.

After the girl BOPS and our adungis JE, since he was the only guy present that time, were finished disinfecting the Psych Soc tambayan, I passed around my plastic bag of gummy candies. Everyone just needed a sugar fix since we were all tired and madungis that time.

After a while, I decided to go home since I needed to review for my Soc Sci 2 exam on Monday. Well, what do you know? I've read five chapters straight considering my verrry short attention span. Sure, I got bored. But it was a real mental challenge to not get distracted. Thanks to the early morning balde-carrying I did. ;)

I've decided to give this new attitude shift a try. Okay, so my dreams of becoming a College Scholar seem harder to grasp as each exam result comes out. Then again, I'll be working extra hard for better grades even if I still don't get to be a CS. I realized it's about time I got more serious. I've masked my insecurity of not getting the same grades as those geniuses in my classes by believing I'm actually okay with being mediocre. It's about time I broke free from my inhibitions and went for greater heights.

Vindicated. I am selfish. I am wrong. I am right. I swear I'm right. Swear I knew it all along. And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well. I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself...

I'm cleaning up so damn well.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Ischufehd.

Some people just happen to know their way around Math 17 long exams. Unfortunately, I'm one of those who'd easily get lost in a sea of radicals, exponents, constants, conjugates, roots--the entire friggin set of real numbers. To make things worse, I'd always end up drowning.

And I thought I had learned to love Math. In high school, I'd always get a line of 9 in Math. In college, I'd give anything to go even just a wee bit above that sole line of 3. Man, I badly need Sir Samson.

I finally passed the Midterms. Then again it was low. Low low. As I carefully examined my numerical scribblings for each item, I realized I made a whole lot of careless mistakes. I wrote pluses for minuses. Four times thirteen became negative nine. Ischufehd.

So how are you supposed to feel about a 3.0 class standing? I know I can still do something about it (and actually PRACTICING would be a good start) but NO, I just couldn't stop thinking how bobo I am at Math. Think positive, they say. I do, really. I try HARD to think positive about this matter. However I still am depressed. I feel so ischufehd. What's worse is I know I'm not but fate seems to fail me. ARGH.

I think I should HINTdropHINT.

Then again, maybe not.

Grades do not determine one's worth.

INTEGRITY DOES.