Sunday, December 25, 2005

The things we do for love.

When we love someone, we care for them big-time. We are not afraid to run after them, thinking they would run astray, get lost, or hurt themselves later on. No matter how hard it is catch up with them, we still try, even if it means going against our capacity to. That, of course, is all because of that crazy little thing called love.

There we were, Girlie and I, running around the subdivision, gasping for breath. Nevermind if it was December, beads of sweat trickled down our foreheads and necks from all that running. I was never an athlete, I even sucked at Robber and Police back then, but there I was, going against the limits of what my body can only do. Girlie, on the other hand, had asthma but she went on running to at least just keep an eye on Margot.

"Well, Margot may have just missed running around the subdivision," said my mom as I walked in and told her our story. I took off the crochet bandana I have been wearing the whole time (which probably had worsened the sweating) and wiped the sweat off my nose. Oh, and what about the white Havaianas I was wearing the whole time? Think one word: friction. I went home a mess but I was proud to have been able to make Margot come back home (with her dobe ears hung low as she saw Girlie and I approaching her cage after the wild chase).

You see, I was really worried. Sure, she might have just missed running around her route, but Girlie and I never thought that. We knew Margot was a smart dog, but she could have been too curious and could have gone past the subdivision gate. I was afraid she would get run over by some car with a reckless driver. That kept me going. That made me run faster and faster, not minding how pudpod my favorite pair of Havas were (while Girlie was wearing her first-ever Dupes), not minding how sweaty I was already, not minding how many times I almost fell on my knees (and the scabs and/or scars I would get!). I was more concerned about Margot than anything else about myself.

Something I learned from being Internal Affairs Committee deputy of IDAFL: I'll Do Anything For Love.

When you find yourself caring about someone more than you do yourself, that's LOVE. Love is patient, kind, self-sacrificing, and unconditional. Love is not obsession. It is not even need. Love stands for itself; love is simply love. No other feeling, emotion, or entity will ever equal love.

(And so I let go of my past idea of love as a result of need, as an investment; which I used to stand firmly upon during my Soc Sci 2 days.)

The chase was indeed tiring and really wa-poise but I don't mind doing it again. Like I said, I'll Do Anything For Love.

I love you, Margot. Welcome back. :)

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Reunited and it feels so good.

Last night, my barkada, SLGP, held our first-ever Christmas Party here at home. I remember those times I would feel so bad because I could barely relate to their latest chikas because they're all in Manila and I'm in QC. Good thing Jillie and Les thought about organizing a Christmas Party. That way we would be able to catch up on each other's lives, which was so easy for all of us back in high school.

You guys, if you're reading this, I just want to thank you all for coming! I really missed you and I really had fun!

Yani, sayang you weren't able to come! Don't worry, we'll pray for your mom.
Jo, dapat mag-CS na tayo next time! :P
Jill, thanks so much for the Christmas card! I missed you so much! And I agree, we should keep in touch more often! :D
Les, you forgot to tell me about that thing you posted! :P
Sette, Starbucks tayo minsan! Hope we could get to meet up more often din.
Joe, hoy lalaki, magpakita ka kasi! Thank you for coming and for not bringing just a slice of ham. Haha.
Juds, you didn't make kwento about your crush! Andaya mo! Haha! Di bale, let's just save that for another unlimited conversation!
Cony, you wore hot pink! Haha! I can't believe you wore hot pink! I miss our siba days na! :(
Alkaids, I missed hugging you! We barely talk already. Next time nga I'll do all the talking, hindi ka na madaldal eh! :P

Thank God for the holidays. Sana every year ganito!

I will upload more pics in my Multiply when my server isn't fcuked up anymore. :)

-----------------------------------

Here are gifts from online friends Erika and Jhesca. Thanks, girls!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, Y'ALL! ^_______^

Thursday, December 22, 2005

This year's wishlist.

Remember last year's wishlist?

My mom just bought me my first two Shu Uemura eyeshadows! Oh, the simple joys in life!

Then again, this year, I'm wishing for bigger things.

I wish for Margot to go home already. She's actually going home, I just don't know when. My dad said she would soon, though! I really really miss her and I just want to be with her!

I wish for world peace. It may seem impossible, but we can all work on it. Sige na, cliche na. But have we ever really tried?

I wish for the happiness of those dear to me. 'Nuff said. Ako lang ang may karapatang maging depressed! :P

I wish for my dreams, small or supersize, to come true. I don't need 'em to happen all at the same time. Just please come true. :)

I wish for everyone to have a Merry Christmas. And when I mean everyone, I mean every one in the whole wide world. No one is exempted. I just want everybody to be happy all at the same time at least just once this year. :)

I don't wish for much. God please help me make them come true.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Party-pooped.

So what do you do when you're in front of the country's biggest names in the fashion industry? Knock your martini glass off the registration table for everyone to see and hear.

I am such a klutz.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

I'm 'overpossessed' by the Yule spirit.

CLAUDS! OMGOMGOMG (a la Rhea)! I LOVE YOU! ANG GANDA GANDA GANDA NG ISLAND RIDDIMS!!! WAHAHAHA!!! THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER! WEEEE! :D

By the way, I can't believe my Art Stud 1 prof's dad composed Pasko Na Naman Muli! And he played the piano in class kanina! Aww, I love our prof. Haha. Even if I'm always late for class. Go Sir de Leon! :P

Patay ako kay Marianne, Psych 101 paper partner. I gave away half of our 'rewards' for our supposed kid respondents to five kids who went up to me as I was about to enter the apartment's gate. Well, I didn't just give them away at once. I actually interviewed them for our survey but I wasn't able to get the answers I wanted and they didn't know how to write. I still gave them the chocs however. I didn't feel bad, though. Just a simple "Thank you po, Ate!" made me feel great.

I also gave the kid who got us a cab in Katipunan something bigger than the usual tip. Christmas naman na eh. He needs it more than I do anyway.

I just wish I had saved a lot more during the past few months so I would be able to give something special to more kids. I know they might take advantage of my generosity, but still, I wish I had the power and resources to offer other people something better, at least just for the Christmas.

And as for me, I don't really want material things this Christmas. I just wish I could get my life back on track. I've been so lost lately and I need to set my priorities straight. And I just want my dreams to come true. Yun lang talaga. :)

OT: I watched the famous Oblation Run earlier with Clauds and Marianne! :P

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Just when I thought I was turning Scrooge.

"Nagpapasalamat po ako sa inyo kasi mas pinadama ninyo sa amin ang Pasko..."

All it took was those words to make me cry.

This afternoon was the Psychsoc Christmas Party. I still didn't have the spirit within me but I still wanted to attend the party so I kind of forced myself to feel Christmas. Haggard from making the December edition of Psycle (It was nice working with you, Kuya AJ!), I went inside the venue (Ate Lani's house) and greeted everyone an unfelt "Merry Christmas!" and settled down. Though the program was fun (I wasn't able to give Rhea the long message I had rehearsed in my mind!) and I was so surprised to find out that I was Ate Fides' baby, the activities just weren't enough to make me feel Christmas-y.

I don't know what really happened but for some reason, I decided to join the caroling activity after the party. I initially decided not to go since I have a 7:00a class tomorrow and I badly need some sleep. But there was something, and it was as if He had it all planned, that pushed me to stay. And for another strange reason, I had not forgotten the notes I had practiced before I quit the Carolfest.

So anyway, at Sta. Lucia (Home for Girls? LOL.), I was again part of the formation and the choir. Singing for these girls really made me feel honored. I made sure every staccato was hit in time, every shift was done gracefully, and my singing flowed naturally just like the other members. And after our medley, the girls' sharp claps made us all smile. But then they started saying their "Thank you" messages and some of us started to cry.

I was deeply touched. It has indeed been a long time since I went to a charitable institution and did something that made the people there happy. These girls kept mentioning about how we actually brought Christmas to them. Tears started forming and eventually falling from my eyes as I realized it was really they who brought Christmas to me.

You see, Christmas isn't just all about our family and friends. It's also about sharing love with other people outside your usual social circle, especially those who need it most. Jesus wasn't born for a certain group of people. He was born for everyone His Father created. Jesus did not choose whom to die for either. He died for the whole of mankind.

The true spirit of Christmas is not brought forth simply by Christmas trees screaming with lights and ornaments nor by all those other decorations that are uniquely Christmas nor by the obligatory Christmas gifts and parties. The true spirit of Christmas cannot be heard on the radio nor can it be seen on every house. I cannot be tasted as soon as holiday goods become available in the market, neither can it be touched with every gift you unwrap. The true spirit of Christmas can be felt with every good deed, pleasant greeting, and heartfelt gesture.

May the true spirit of Christmas be with us always. ;)

Oh, and Psychsoc, we should do that kind of caroling every year! :)

Monday, December 12, 2005

No more drama.

Okay, forget about yesterday's drama post.

I am so in love with the people in my life right now. You guys do care. Thanks for helping me get over yesterday's emptiness.

I LOVE YOU VAL! Thanks for dropping by the apartment to give your Christmas gift! That was so su-weet! <3 You really are my sassy girl. ;)

Our Psych 101 gave all of us brownies while we were taking our first long quiz. We love you, Sir Ton! ;)

Why hasn't it occurred to me yet that it's going to be a really busy day tomorrow?

I know how sad I sounded in most of my entries about school. I would like to clarify, however, that Peyups life still is the bomb. In UP, I am content with being an ordinary student. My grades were fine last sem, it was just Math that hindered me from being a CS. The best part of it all? No competition. :)

Tomorrow will be the last hectic day of the year, thank God.

Aliw. Some of the POPS were wearing pink and blue and we were all sitting beside each other. Ayan, naging photo-op tuloy...

Wow, 13 days na lang 'til Christmas! I just can't wait for school to end, even for just a while. SAVE ME!

^______________^

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Island girl.

Why do I feel so isolated from everything and everyone? My org, some of my friends, my family... everything?

Wala na bang nagmamahal sa akin?

Saturday, December 10, 2005

So I'll sing you a new song...

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE U.P. PSYCHOLOGY SOCIETY HITMAKERS FOR BEING THE CAROLFEST CHAMPIONS! :D

Sabi ko sa inyo, mananalo kayo eh! What a great way to end the year! ;)

(Sayang I wasn't able to watch. Boo-hoo.)

-----------

Anyway, yesterday, Joy finally got to join us for siomai. And since I wasn't able to eat lunch because of the darn postlabs, I ate seven siomais with a cup of rice after Chem! (Haha, talo ko pa rin si Meg! :P) Oh and guess who join us too? MINDLEE! (Mindy + Lee-Ann!)

Mindy, pa-send ng pics sa cam mo! ;)
Meg, ikaw na rin if you're reading this! :P

-----------

I spent almost the whole night trying to understand Chem. Wow, sa wakas I can follow na! LOL.

-----------

~~I want to do a swimwear shoot for the summer.~~ :P

-----------

Oh, and Raph, the Only One piano cover made me cry. Haha. As in cry. I'll have someone play that on my debut! ;)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Anna.

Next Friday's going to be the last day of classes (for the year) and the date for the famous Oblation Run. Yikee, who's watching? ;)

Been verrry busy for the past few weeks, especially Tuesdays and Fridays. Chem can just demand so much time, you know? Five friggin' units while Psych 101's only three?! Labo. PLUS, Chem's making my brain bleed--literally!

Earlier, I started wondering what keeps me sane despite the loaded sked, piled-up requirements, and endless significant figures and chemical equations. It didn't take long before it came to me, though. I realized it was because of the big bunch of happy people I hung out with ever since this sem started! Oo Joy, Clauds, Shobe, Mico, Mia, Karen, Meg, Marielle, Lee-Ann, and Mindy, KAYO YUN. May nakalimutan ba ako? Haha. Andami kasi natin!

*Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

Today was one of those crazy days. Well, kelan ba hindi naging crazy? Haha. Oh well. Laughtrip naman kasi si Mico, he fell asleep while waiting for Clauds and I at AS 101. So ayan. Because I was hyper again...

*See?!

*Eh kumusta naman kayo dyan?

*Clauds, Shobe, and Sleepyhead.

Before our Pan Pil 19 class pala, we ate siomai at FA! I like their siomai! I'm going to eat there more often! Yaaaaay! Happy happy! And there was this white cat pala (Clauds and I were just talking about our Sailormoon days!) and I named it Anna. Haha, wala lang. Secret na lang kung bakit Anna. Ask Clauds. :P Anna was just so lovable! She rubbed herself against Clauds and me! Weeee! :D

*Awww, isn't she a lovely cat? ;)

I don't really like cats but Anna really made my day. She was so cute I wanted to hug her (but I was afraid she would scratch me)! Actually I only like pure white and pure black cats and this entry is so sabog so let me just end it. :P

Here's to another day of bloody Chem tomorrow.

:)

-------------

Pahabol. I pulled off a benta joke earlier.

Ted: Basta, Xavierian siya.
Me: *stares blankly then after a few secs...* Pero husky ba siya?
Ted: Huh?
Me: XAVIERIAN HUSKY!

:P

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

IDAFPS.

Almost six months ago, I was just another freshman looking for an org. Any org would have done, as long as it had a tambayan (where I could stay during breaks, hehe) and the members treated me nicely. I wasn't pretty much after the goals of the org or the length of the app process. I really just wanted an org. You know, to belong.

On one fateful day, I signed up as an applicant for my block handler, the UP Psychology Society. I wasn't aware of the tedious app process, though. I never expected to go through a lot before becoming a member. I was beguilled by the free lollipop I got after passing my application form.

Then came the App Orientation wherein I learned how the whole process would go. The thought of having all the members sign my sigsheet in exchange for my having to memorize their basic info, attending every activity, going through PEP Week (the whole costume thing), having to make tambay for 20 hours in just a month, simply scared me. I felt sooner or later I would defer as soon as most of my blockmates did.

Acquaintance Party, Gawad Kalinga, PEP Week & Tambay Night, Sportsfest, Rummage Sale, Buddy Week, Medical-Dental Mission, ACLE, Acadtalk, interviews, Culmi... There were so many activities to attend and so many requirements to accomplish. PEP Week was my favorite since I was one of the few who dared to walk around AS in our things-you-can-find-in-the-wet-market costumes just for sigs.

Those times were hard, even if they were happy. I expected to defer as soon as most of my blockmates did, right? They did. Towards every step of the app process, we were narrowed down to seven, six, until there were only four of us to reach the culminating activity. I used to believe in deferring together with my blockmates as pakikisama. But as time went by and as I learned and grew more, I realized I was just scared of being alone before. I was afraid of not being able to relate to my more senior co-applicants.

But I was wrong. I was also something unexpected, but as time passed, I eventually warmed up to my batchmates (apps). In them I have found not just activity partners or co-applicants but good friends. I used to forget their names when the app process started but now, I have at least something good to share about each and every one of them. Our batch seldomly got along but we always ended up with a decision that did benefit every one of us. My batchmates kept me strong throughout the app process. They shared with me the will to survive and finally make it as one of the members of Psychsoc. They accepted me as part of the group despite my shortcomings and my tendency to become aloof. I could say with great conviction that if not for them, I really would not have made it.

The application process made me grow a lot. It taught me a lot of new things. First of all, I learned the value of teamwork. Truly, no app can make it through the Psychsoc app on his or her own. That's what batchmates are for, right? Also, I learned how to verrrry patient and strong. Anybody has the option to quit. But the hardest decision an app could ever make is to simply stay. I learned how to get along with different kinds of people, of course, but nothing beats loving these people and accepting them for who they are. Most importantly, I learned that you will only learn to love something wholeheartedly when you work HARD for it. I invested so much in my decision to stay. I gave everything I had. I stayed up as late as I could for the reviewer, I tried my best to memorize all the information I needed to even if it is a fact that I really have a hard time memorizing, I openly accepted criticism, and I did everything I had to just for Psychsoc.

When I joined Psychsoc, I didn't really have a good reason. I just joined for the heck of it. But as I went through the whole app process, I was finally able to give myself one good reason. I wanted to join Psychsoc because I wanted to do things I can be proud of in the future. If I wanted an org I would devote my time to, why not one definitely worth spending every second on? If I wanted an org I would devote my efforts to, why not one definitely worth every teardrop and every drop of sweat? And if I wanted an org that would be like family, why not one that would love and accept me and at the same time, would make me grow as an individual? Would teach me a lot of lessons I would need in every game of survival?

After one whole semester (plus sembreak!), the app process finally ended. We were inducted last Saturday. Now, we're no longer BOPS (Babies of Psychsoc), applicants, IOPS (Inductees) even. The term POPS (People of Psychsoc) sounds more appealing, doesn't it? I can't believe it's finally over. My batchmates and I were finally able to make the last step. We are now official members of the UP Psychology Society. No more memorizing of basic info for sigs, no more funny costumes, no more preparing for the interviews and nailbiting while waiting for deliberation results, no more BOPS '05.

To my batchmates, especially my blockmates Rhea, Ein, and JE, thank you very much for keeping me strong. You guys don't know how much your support meant to me. The app process couldn't have been easier without you. Even if we don't agree most of the time, I'm glad we were still able to stick together and forgive each other's shortcomings. There may no longer be BOPS '05, but I do hope we maintain the bond we had and still have as Batch '05.

To the POPS, thanks also for all the lessons you've taught me and my batchmates. Because of you, Psychsoc became more lovable. I hope we get the chance to bond soon, too! Thank you also for accepting me despite my faults and shortcomings. Thanks to the Sophie POPS for always being nice and patient, Ate Acee for always being there to save me, Ate Liz for being the best committee head, for taking care of your Publicom babies, and for breaking the tension by making us laugh, and Buddy Kai for all the tips and the sigs you helped me get. ;)

To the VOPS, especially Kuya Glenn, a very big Thank You also for being so nice (and for signing my sigsheet, hehe)! I always get intimidated whenever you guys are around, but thank you so much for being game to make chika with us once in a while. Your contributions to Psychsoc will never be forgotten.

And lastly, to Psychsoc, I give you one big Thanks for making my first year in UP a very exciting one. I have learned to love you and I assure you that this love will never change. In fact, it will grow even deeper through the years we'll be spending together.

Nothing will ever change. Still...

I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR PSYCHSOC.