Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Femme fatality.
It's funny how men and even society belittle women. Sure, more and more people are now confessing to be feminists but still, the members of the female specie are still looked down on. Gender stereotypes, often negative, are everywhere--that thing about lady drivers, PMS as an excuse to be pushy, that a girl wants flowers on every special occasion, shopping as a sport... You know, the usual.
Once upon a time in a forest far, far away lived Man and Woman. Man was perfectly blessed with sinews and Woman was perfectly blessed with virtue. He lived in a bush under a tree while she lived in a cave she had found herself. Everyday, Man tried to build a house like Woman's but he failed. Everyday he searched for logs and put them together but those logs still did not protect him. Day by day, he tried and day by day, he failed. But little did he know that, day by day, Woman watched him.
At night, she would hear him shiver and complain about the cold and in the heat of midday, she would hear him gasping for breath. She then decided one day to help Man, but secretly. While Man was away looking for sturdy logs, she sewed leaves together and put the blanket inside his house. To take care of the heat, she cut part of the bush after she discovered that opening would make it easy for Man to see there was a stream nearby where he could bathe in its cool waters. Woman was about to leave when Man arrived.
He was surprised to see someone else in his house, and his house... Why, it was entirely different! When he demanded to know who the stranger was and what she was doing there, all Woman said was that she lived in the cave nearby and she came to help him because she sensed his discomfort. And while this happened, a part of him hurt as he found out that Woman was able to think of ways to ease his discomfort that he himself didn't think of. But then she just walked away. Man watched as she entered the dark opening and disappeared.
That night, Man could not sleep. He never know someone else existed, someone who looked almost the same as he did. But no matter how alike they seemed, that someone seemed completely different. That someone thought of things he had never thought of before. That someone remained calm despite his rage. And that someone's calmness actually toned his rage down. That someone understood him and did not judge him at once. And that was the moment when he realized he needed that someone.
And so Man tried to win Woman's heart. She decided to give up her cave because she wanted to leave comfort. She was ready to suffer from extreme cold and scorching heat to be able to be there for Man, who didn't want to leave his own house. She knew Man needed her and so she made sure she was there to protect him. Man wanted to be wild and free but all Woman wanted was to keep an eye on Man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Woman knew there were savage beasts out there that would pose as threats to their safety but she also knew Man needed his daily dose of adventure. So she set him limits. Man loved to run wild, woman loved to think wild. And eventually they had children. But their relationship became rocky because Woman needed help in caring for their children but Man insisted on still running wild. They argued almost everyday.
One day, while the two were arguing, Woman slipped from the edge of the cliff. She held on to a branch as she screamed for help. Man just watched her reach out hand asking for his.
"Why won't you help me?" Woman said. "After all those years I've helped you with just about everything, why won't you help me?"
Man thought hard. He knew deep inside that he still needed her but there was this part of him that was hurt as he heard what she just said. Yes, that part was the same part that hurt when he found out that Woman was able to think of things he couldn't. He wanted to show her he did not need her after all. Her hands were slipping but he just stared at her.
"I have lived alone and survived before you came along," he said.
And she fell right before he was able to say, "But you made me life much better."
No one knows if Man taught his sons to be bitter to their sisters or if the children just assumed their parents' roles in the family. But one thing's for sure: Their children never found out that it was Woman who really built their house, who knew of better ways to survive but gave up her own comfort just because of Man's pride, who knew she was strong enough on her own but never wanted Man to feel intimidated, who raised all ten children by herself while Man was out in the woods searching for adventure... Woman never got the credit she deserved.
And so their story is relived over and over again.
Men claim to be strong. They carry heavy things, drive their million-peso babies feeling all macho, claim to be good at holding back tears, and don't ask for directions even if they're nearing the opposite end of their destinations. And why do they do that? Simple. They do not want to be weak. 'Coz that's what makes them more of a woman.
Oh, so if you guys think we're weak, try wearing high heels the whole prom night with every effort not to show how much your feet hurt. Try having to wear a mini skirt for a nightout with every effort not to reveal those panties. Try having to carry a baby inside your belly for nine whole months with every effort not to let it affect work too much. (And going through that more than once for most women!) Try having to lose blood every month through that opening "down there" with every effort to ignore those stomach cramps and that nausea and the paranoia that you might already have a big, red stain. Try having your tits made the object of a conversation with every effort to hold your head up high and ignore them. Try having your boyfriend cheating on you and ditching you for some girl you know who wouldn't take care of him as much as you did with every effort not to kneel in front of him just to ask him back. Try being held back from a relationship with someone you really love by your parents not just because you're too young but also because you're a girl with every effort to show everyone that you've moved on and you're no longer hurting.
Try that on for size.
And only then can we tell who's stronger.
And maybe then Woman can finally be honored.
