Monday, January 02, 2006
Wishing for a HAPPIER new year.
I couldn't say 2005 was the best or worst year I've ever lived in, but I could say it was the most extreme. It started great but well, it had such a so-so ending.
I've finally had a taste of real modeling, won of a silver medal from the Nationals, learned a lot of lessons--both in life and in the academe (most of them from UP), met such great people (from work, school, the Internet, and random places), met some people whose names I used to just read in magazines, had my picture taken with Japoy Lizardo, graduated from high school, been more independent, been more successful with soul-searching.
However, this year was the emo-est (yes, emo-er than 2004). I've had depression attacks every now and then for the smallest to the weirdest reasons. I have had to part or spend less time with some people I loved dearly. Margot got terribly ill, I had to leave home for college, my high school barkada and I went to different universities, some ties with some people just got too stressed, etc.
Looking back on last year's list of resolutions made me laugh. Only two out of seven were accomplished. (And Raph, they aren't #7 and #4!) I've been a baaaad girl.
And so I spent the whole New Year's Day thinking about making another list. I don't want to be pressured to change, I might overdo growing up. I want to live day by day not worrying about tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, the next ten years...
I don't want to live the rest of my life bounded by plans. I want to cut my hair when I feel like it, love like it's never going to hurt, dance like nobody's watching (and like I know how to, haha), scream at the top of my lungs as if no one can hear, cry instead of faking a smile in a picture, do a swimwear shoot, get really tan and look sizzling, attend a VTR with just blush and lip gloss, score a major project (which I'll be praying really hard for), finally become a CS or US... and finally snap out of depression once and for all.
Looks like I got myself a list after all!
Here's to a better year (I hope!) waiting for all of us.
HAPPY 2006!
