Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Before she loses her mind.
Just when I thought August was Hell Month, HELL-O-SEPTEMBER!
But despite the long, long line-up of activities, I'm so excited for next month since a lot of friends will be celebrating their birthdays, yay! :D Oh, and I just can't wait for the International Coastal Clean-up on the 16th. We'll be doing the real thing, beybeh--real diving! ;)
***
I was at Agencie earlier since they asked me to come over so they can take a few pictures. Man, and this giant pimple just had to pop out. Ate Jenny was directing that shoot and she asked me to pout. You know, the pout those Head Over Heels supermodels used to do. And I figured it wasn't dentally possible--well, at least for me.
Finding out you couldn't even do that supermodel pout was a bit frustrating but I was still amused by the fact my teeth just wouldn't let me do that pout. We kept laughing the whole time I attempted to give my best pout. I must've looked like some retard!
Someone teach me how to do that pout! Someone! Anyone! =))
***
Coffee date with Rhea last night. Funny how we're already housemates but we don't get to talk that much. I'm glad I was finally able to tell her my latest rants and raves. Rhea's someone who really listens and I really enjoy talking to her.
And it's been a while too since we both talked about our plans for Psychsoc and well, certain members of the male specie. Hah!
Coffee shops are definitely the best places to hang out :) Or well, at least somewhere you and that someone you're with can talk.
Or not. I think I'm turning caffeine-dependent. Nooooo. @_@
***
August 27 was Clauds' 18th! :D
***
"The alternative hypothesis is everything the null hypothesis is not. It is the other woman or other man in your life."
Another reason why Stat sucks. Or not. I'm learning to appreciate Stat. I can try sounding technical and all about this whole love crap.
I can go like, "Hey. I don't want to be part of your mean. I don't even want to be limited by the standard deviation. I want to be above the mean--highly above the mean."
What about, "You know what, there is a strong positive correlation between proximity and keeping relationships."
"What is the probability of drawing your heart in this foolish game of cards we play?"
Or maybe, "I want our Pearson coefficient of correlation to be perfect, I want you and me to be 1.00."
I can also say, "You're not like the rest, you're a tail-ender."
Or simply, "You are the sole observation whose frequency is greatest in value in terms of the number of times you enter my thoughts. Therefore, you are the mode of my life."
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Over the long weekend.
Things I've learned over the long weekend (even if it isn't really over yet):
01. It feels great when your lola asks you to sit beside her during dinner.
02. Even if you can't stand how talkative your sister is, listen. It means so much to her.
03. I've already outgrown high school. I miss the memories and the people but I've changed so much from the person I was back then.
04. I really want to become a doctor.
05. Overeating at Ababu on just one night can make you gain a pound.
06. Bringing a book along will save you from major boredom while waiting.
07. I look really old with glasses.
08. It feels great being open to your mom about boys.
09. It feels even greater when your mom borrows your cellphone and replies to the guy you're texting with. And the guy replies.
10. My new Viktors are jinxed. Wearing them for the first time made me see someone, although it was rather expected, in church. But the skinny jeans are still really gorgeous!
11. Texting your closest friends about each "nosebleed" moment will definitely relieve anxiety.
12. I feel really blessed having someone to talk to about everything--someone who listens, someone whom I look forward talking to everyday, someone who stimulates me intellectually, someone who can deal with my nonsense...
***
Will you still love me in the morning?
Friday, August 18, 2006
Cheeky.
Looking back, I remember this certain morning on our way to my preschool aboard the school bus. All the boys were daring that brown-haired mestizo boy, who was really gwapo for a five-year-old by the way, to kiss me on the cheek. When he did, I was really shocked until I started crying. That incident actually ruined the entire day and I hated that boy until I got my preschool diploma.
And funny how a kiss on the cheek means so much more to me now. Thirteen years ago, it was disgusting--it was disrespect. Now it's all but something pure--it's something I really appreciate.
I may have cursed the day of my first ever cheek kiss but, to date, I will never forget each and everyone who gave me little pecks of their love.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Busy Girl.
I want to start working on the things I need for tomorrow but just thinking of it stresses me out already. My eyes have never been this droopy from excessive lack of sleep. I can't work 'coz I can't think well. I can't think well 'coz I'm too stressed. I'm too stressed 'coz there's so much to do. There's so much to do and everything is way out of control.
Two weeks ago I wished for a less boring life. But now all I wish for is sleep. I need sleep. I want to rest. I have to rest.
Busy Girl no longer has time for her org. Busy Girl just can't keep in touch with her friends anymore. Busy Girl's always out. Busy Girl's always spacing out at home. Busy Girl is always in front of the computer. Busy Girl's too stressed to listen to her brother. Busy Girl lives life according to deadlines. Busy Girl is a slave to school- and orgwork and no longer has time to deal with her emotional shit.
Busy Girl needs a break.
Because Busy Girl no longer feels anything--Busy Girl isn't enjoying every moment of it.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
August is officially Hell Month.
At last, I've gotten hold of Wei Hui's Shanghai Baby!
I've been dying to have that pretty little thing as soon as I found out it came before Marrying Buddha and since I have this thing for strictly reading firsts first, I put aside MB and promised myself I'd read Shanghai Baby first.
I searched far and wide but no Shanghai Baby, only to find it in a pile of donated books waiting to be sorted. And since we had the perks of picking a book we liked to keep, I definitely grabbed the opportunity. Thank goodness for RockEd!
***
This will definitely be the longest weekend of my life. There's so much to do! And I'm actually panicking over Tuesday's Stat exam (which we only find out about yesterday).
Grr.
And there's MP (Malikhaing Pagsusulat). My prof moved my deadline and gave me extra work due on Monday for missing class last Thursday. Bleh. What to do, what to do?
Ald went home to Dagups with my cousins from Maginhawa. There they are, having fun without me since I really have a lot of school work to do. Good thing we'll be having a long weekend next week!
***
I need, need exercise. My body's been so uncooperative lately.
I also need to focus. I've been spacing out too much. Meg's right, I shouldn't be too pensive. Gaaaaah.
And I need a break. Please, please help me de-stress. :(
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Of 17 and personal growth.
Let me just say it, the Seventeen Favorite Model presscon was really awesome! :D
I was supposed to leave UP at 8:30 but then Clauds suddenly texted we had to submit an on-the-spot essay for Archaeo. (We don't have exams for Archaeo so the essays play a big part in the grading system.) So I was forced to drag my ass to class and to write an essay relating a bust, err head sculpture, to the study of archaeology. Whooo, nag-isip pa ba ako?
And I don't know what happened, but I really thought the meeting place was at Summit. BUT NOOOO, I was an hour late and everybody else was in Glorietta! Tsk tsk. Ang lakas ng false memory ko that we were to meet at Summit!
Anyway, when I got there we ate early lunch, rehearsed the blockings, had our hair and makeup done, and changed. The presscon started about 4:30, and most of the other girls were already there around 9! That meant we had the chance to talk and talk and talk while waiting, until we ran out of things to talk about. I'm really glad we finally got to bond!
So when was the last time I sashayed on the runway? Well, since my debut grand entrance is an entirely different thing, I would have to say senior high. And when was the last time I actually modeled for ramp? Not Applicable. N/A. It was my first time to actually ramp as a model, not as a Miss Intrams contestant or as a prom queen finalist... (My agency's actually texted me to try out for an upcoming Penshoppe Denimlab event but I have class tomorrow and I'll have to miss Joy's birthday in case I actually get in. Boo-hoo.)
And when it was finally our cue to walk, I tried my best to bring out my inner supermodel but I was still really shy since almost all those big time media companies were there. (Hi Ate Biancs haha!) Then again, it was all Bahala na. I just enjoyed the moment. :)
We were interviewed by CinemaOne how we felt about being finalists. We all answered we were happy and gaining such an experience was enough. Right at that moment, I knew we all felt the same. Meeting seven gorgeous and genuinely nice girls and eventually having them as friends was definitely enough. :)
And hey, I garnered the most votes online! Thanks so much to everyone who voted for me. I really, really appreciate the effort you all put into voting for me. In a way, you've helped me come a step closer to reaching my cover girl dreams. (I was actually called second to the last, before Ena, haha. Kaya a step closer! :P) Special, special thanks to my little sister Girlie who would make it a point to vote for me every single day. Di bale, pag ikaw naman ang nag-Candy/Total Girl in the future, aabusuhin ko na rin ang net ko. :)
Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to join SFM, especially Shobe and Meg who actually insisted I join. Siyempre, hindi ko makakalimutan 'yun. I may not have bagged the cover but I take great pride in being able to land as a finalist. And like Alv always said, being on the cover's just a bonus--we're all winners already. :)
And of course to the Seventeen and Summit staff, Ena, Monique, Fatima, Dace, Marquis, Bianca, and Pam, thank you for the whole Seventeen experience. This experience has made me grow in a lot of ways. I will never forget everything that happened--from the go-see to the time Mitch called me to inform me about the finalists' shoot to the makeover shoot that shocked us all to the moments we all waited for the winner to shoot (Congrats again, Ena!) to the time Ingrid asked Monique and I to model on Breakfast to the fitting to the very event this afternoon. Those were the greatest five months of my life. :)
***
I feel really great about life right now. Aside from getting almost the kind of closure I needed, I also set certain limits for myself and err, basta. I loved that feeling when Clauds gave me a congratulatory handshake for the latter. Believe me, it took a lot of guts to say what I said. I love you Clauds, my reality checker!
I'm finally learning the art of "mind over heart".
***
Looks like I'll be loving the loveless life after all! ;)
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Quest for Happiness.
Something really weird happened today. It was Lee-Ann's card hula game. Mine ended up having the king and queen facing each other, meaning the guy--whoever he is--and I have the same feelings for each other. The king was placed beside my heart, meaning he's supposedly close to my heart. But I need to open it so he can get through.
What bothered me was that his heart was below him and Lee-Ann explained that before I can get close to his heart, he has to resolve some issues first.
So much for card games. My chance of being that guy's queen is as slim as drawing a red jack anyway.
***
Lately, I've realized how relationships can be so hard to keep and maintain while you're still young and fickle and well, shallow. And how easy you can mistake infatuation for love. And how words like "convenience" can overshadow "effort".
And so my quest for Happiness begins.
He doesn't have to make me happy all the time, he just has to keep me happy.
He doesn't have to be summa cum laude smart, he just has to be street-smart and he just has to have the right goals and values.
He doesn't have to carry the refrigerator, he just has to know how to do the plumbing and wiring.
He doesn't have to meet with me all the time, he just has to be there all the time.
He doesn't have to be really tall or moreno to be hot, he just has to carry himself well.
He doesn't have to be emotionally stable, he just has to be careful with the way he handles his feelings.
He doesn't have to be extremely sweet and romantic, he just has to hold on to details from conversations.
He doesn't have to say intellectually stimulating things most of the time, he just has to know how to listen--and make me laugh.
And he doesn't have to be Chris Carrabba, he just has to sing Hands Down for me. :)
And I have my entire lifetime to find him ;)
***
As for now, schoolgirl crushes will do.
Plus I've got the best-est friends ever who mean so much more to me than any other guy would! ;)
Friday, August 04, 2006
Friday's happiness.
Happiness 'tong araw na 'to kahit maraming kapalpakan!
Matapos kong magpuyat hanggang 3:00a kagabi para matapos ang aking Stat homework, nakapagbreakfast ako kaninang umaga ng kape (at sirang adobo sandwich na nakalahati ko na nang marealize kong sira na pala) dahil binigyan kami ng oras para tapusin 'yun.
Nag-Beach House kami nina Karen, Shobe, Clauds, at Meg (at si Micong umalis agad). Whoooo kumusta naman ang naglunch pa pagkauwi. At nakatulog nang halos dalawang oras.
Tapos may sumagip pa sa akin mula sa isang napaka-morbid na panaginip dahil sa kanyang tawag. 'Yun pala ay papunta siya dito para dalhan ako ng 1750 calories! (Wala na, sira na ang ambisyon kong magka-super abs. At payat na hita.) :D
Feeling ko mas nagiging close na ako sa mom ko. Sana tuluy tuloy na nila akong tratuhin bilang isang adult. (Hah, whatever!)
Na-realize ko kung gaano ako kaswerte sa mga kaibigan ko ngayong college, lalo na sa moral and emotional support. Special mention sa aking reality check-er na si Clauds. Man, what would I do without you? *hug*
Sinong masaya, SINO?!
:D
***
The number of relationships you maintain and keep in your life has a high positive correlation to the degree of happiness you usually experience.
2:30a.
I love Stat for keeping me awake the whole night without ever having to think of some person, hah! ;)
GAAAAAHHHH...
As much as I would like Dr. Sycip to shower us with homework to keep my mind off peo--err, things--Khwekhkhwekh will kill me. X_x
I love my friends for telling me they love me. I tell you, I have the sweetest friends in the world! :)
Ehh... Clauds brought up this certain question that got me thinking. But I think I'd rather not--basta. Ayaw, ayaw, ayaw! XD
GOOOOOD MOOOORRRRNNIIIIIINNNNGGGGG!!!! XP XP XP
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
:(
Here's a sweet truth:
Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.
