Saturday, September 30, 2006
I, Robot.
I am so sick and tired of having people dictate to me what they want to happen, what they want me to do, and how I'm supposed to do things. And I am so sick and tired of remaining silent. I am so sick and tired of them having their way while all I have to do is put up with their crappy decisions and be their robot.
Unfortunately, I'm no robot. I have feelings too. I get hurt when somebody gets his or her way to my emotional and effortful expense. I get hurt when I can't even defend myself and voice out what I feel. I get hurt when I have to go through a shitload of sacrifice when people oblige me to do that sacrifice.
I've had a very bad afternoon. Something really sucky came up and it really hurt 'cause everything that happened since Wednesday night was all a fucking show and then I was actually about to go alone on a five-hour bus ride home and imagine if I decided to even bring my laptop and all those other stuff and that would make me really vulnerable. Fortunately, Ate Pam went home with me and I didn't bring my stupid laptop just for firewire, or I swear, I really would've cried like a darned sap for five long hours. (I didn't bring my stupid laptop and look, my dad's laptop's firewire port is 10989787878 times smaller than what my fucking cord needed. My poor, homeless firewire cord. Here's to a sleepless Sunday night editing the whole darn video for our report.)
You see, I've been too passive lately. I've simply let things happen. I've simply been a spectator to all these events that, hey, actually changed my life. So I was thinking, had I been more "active", could that have changed things? Could I be feeling better now? 'Cause you see, I feel like a wimp--a silly wimp and an even sillier pushover.
Seriously, I've been emotionally battered lately by the ones who matter, including that one person who did matter. Gahhd, people. Stop that whole domineering attitude, won't you? I mean, sure, I don't speak up that often. But just because I keep my mouth shut doesn't mean I'm not hurt. Or mad.
I think I deserve an apology for you messing my life, for messing around with my life. You have no right to judge me for my actions or to decide for me unless I ask for your opinion. Otherwise, I'd rather you leave me alone. You've done too much damage already.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Let's Edschucate!
Schu Shop for a Cause
We’ve all heard of our country having better days. We’ve also heard of easier times. We’ve heard enough about our deteriorating state and declared enough the need for change. Our harsh realities call for it every single day. And reasons to not create it now completely escape us.
There are no more reasons. “No more excuses.” This is the battle cry of RockEd Philippines as it spreads its germ of an idea by integrating themselves into people’s lifestyles, anchoring on the performing, literary, or visual arts. This volunteer group is aligned with the UN’s millennium campaign and seeks to end the poverty of hope and involvement.
Schu, a brand of women’s footwear, shares this mission with RockEd. Having identified shopping to be inherent among most people, it opens the doors of its shops as a venue to promote social awareness. Together with Team Manila, a graphic design group that draws inspiration from the urban lifestyle, culture and imagery of the city, they zero in on one of the nation’s biggest concerns for the youth—education. Thus the birth of, Let’s Edschucate! a campaign that integrates shopping with the means to contribute to RockEd’s education projects. Together they call on others to share in the goal of equipping the minds of the youth so that in time, they can take the right steps to create a better future and a better Philippines.Mechanics:
Purchase any of the following pair and 15% of the selling price will go to RockEd, plus you get a free tote bag, specially designed by Team Manila for this project!
Read More:
Read articleFriday, September 22, 2006
Patapon-prose.
Wow. Nagsisink-in na sa akin kung gaano na ka-patapon ang buhay ko.
Acads? What acads? Ang baba ng exam scores ko. Napraning tuloy ako sa sinabi ni Ma'am Sycip na may naka-below 20/60 sa aming Stat exam. ('Wag naman sana!) Ang dami ring kailangang project na simulan. Oops, wait lang, alin alin uling projects 'yung mga 'yun?
Asa'n na ulit ang acads sa priorities ko? ASA'N?!
Salamat, Sir U, sa 1.5 kong Ikalawang Kwento. Bigla ko tuloy naramdamang may silbi pa pala ako bilang isang estudyante. At salamat, Sir Daj, at 'di ka na naging madamot sa akin sa paggrade sa skill test. At least bago natapos ang Scuba, naka-perfect ako ng skill test! Hahaha at least alam kong may silbi rin ang katawan ko sa tubig. Labo mehn.
Badtrip. Nakakababa ng self-esteem 'yung score ko sa 108 exam. Ay sandali pero medyo okey lang pala kasi ano bang ginawa ko nung gabi? Tumingin sa walangyang scrapbook. Tsk. Bawi na nga lang sa mga paper, grarrr.
E sandali, bakit nga pala biglang ang GC ko? Dahil ba patapos na ang sem? Hee hee. Ay wait lang, dapat ata 'pag patapos na ang sem sumisipag ako. Medyo nadedelay lang 'yung sipag factor. Oh well.
Tanong lang, ano na bang nangyayari sa buhay ko? Hindi ko kasi alam kung may pinatutunguhan pa 'tong lahat e. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nawala na talaga 'yung drive kong mag-excel. 'Yung tipong basta pumasa lang, okey na. Basta may mapasang papel, okey na. Solve lang nang solve kahit 'di naiintindihan, okey na.
At nakakatawa dahil hindi lang ako sa acads ganito ngayon. Nagigi na akong "taong basta-basta" (ay teka, ampangit atang pakinggan nu'n)! Masyado na ata akong madaling kausap a? Masyado na rin ata akong nagpapabaya sa lahat.
Ayos naman tayo d'yan.
***
Ayaw akong payagang pa-certify ng nanay ko :(
Sabagay. Una, magastos. Sunod, delikado. At siyempre, lahat ng nanay ayaw namang nalalagay sa alanganin ang kanilang mga anak. Yes naman.
E gusto kong pa-certify sa Scuba e. Gusto ko magka-license.
Pero bakit ko ba gustong magka-license?
(Teka, mukhang dapat inuuna ko muna si Driver's License na matagal nang naghihintay na asikasuhin ko siya. Buti nga sana kung Pending na e. Pero hindi, 'di pa siya actually nakapila!)
***
Uy, buma-bounce back na 'ko. Yiii, alam mo na 'yun. Pero oo nga, seryoso, okey na 'ko. At hindi ko lang tanggap ang lahat. Masaya na ako para sa kanya, para sa kanila, at para sa sarili ko. (Lalo na sa sarili ko. Haha joke lang, ang conceited naman!) Ayun lang. Sobra pa kasi 'to sa closure na inexpect ko e. Kaya masayang masaya na ako. Bow.
***
Ang sarap talaga ng feeling na mayroong at least isang taong wala kang pinagtataguan ng kahit ano. Kumbaga para siyang toilet bowl na hindi ka jina-judge (whoo effort) sa kung anuman ang sinusuka mo sa kanya. 'Yun bang to the highest level ang self-disclosure ninyo sa isa't isa. Lahat ng nangyayari sayo, lahat ng nararamdaman mo, lahat ng gusto mong sabihin--lahat 'yun alam niya.
Tapos hinihiling mo na lang na sana hanggang sa lumipas ang panahon, ganun pa rin kayo sa isa't isa. Alam mo 'yung superdupermegakaduper closeness na mas bongga pa sa Friends Forever?
Aynako 'Day, winner.
(Pero ang ironic din dahil napaka-awkward ng sitwasyon. Yehh.)
***
Naluha ako kahapon nung nag-aasaran kami ni Clauds. May private joke kasi kami tungkol sa humps. 'Yung tipong pagnatisod ka sa hump/s ('di ba nakakatisod naman talaga?), "na-humps" ka? E tapos magmi-Mia-full sem na siya next sem habang Joy-full sem naman ako.
Clauds: Na-humps siya? (tingin kay Meg o kay Karen)
Ako: Si Clauds dati palaging naha-humps!
Clauds: Hindi kaya, ikaw 'yun e!
Ako: Hindi, ikaw!
Clauds: Hindeeee! Ikaw!
Ako: E ikaw nga lagi kong kasam--AWW, MAMIMISS KITA!!! (sabay pout, medyo naluluha na)
Clauds: AWW CHESCA! (naluluha habang tumatawa--oi Clauds, nakita ko kayang naluluha ka na nu'n!)
***
Sana bago matapos ang sem na 'to, umayos na ang buhay ko :)
***
GUSTO KO PA RIN SUMLOWDANCE!!!
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Joyful living.
The highlights of the past week:
Eternity (09/13): Right after packing for our Anilao trip, Clauds and I went straight to SM Fairview to catch Eternity. 'Twas not bad at all! It's about time we made more quality films. (But I swear, whenever Clauds and I watch a movie with just each other, we find ourselves turning bi debating about who between the male and female lead is hotter!)
It also made me realize how love was entirely different during our conservative past when just holding hands would make such a big deal. Like what Clauds said, it must've really hurt for them. (I was actually teary-eyed during Iza and Dingdong's love scene!) Look at how different modern romance is--and how one-night-stands, PDA, "bases", and the like came to be. Look at how now, it just is hard and utterly confusing to tell from love, liking, and lust. Ack.
Joe's Marketing project shoot (09/15): I really had fun doing this! Well, there's something about shoots that make all of them fun no matter what. It may be fun modeling for that shoot, but it's even funner being behind that shoot. You get to put together outfits, direct the poses, etc. Well, I was able to do both since I also helped a bit in assisting. Joe and his blockmates were very accommodating too! They were all nice and friendly. The girls also went gaga over Fonsi, whom we asked to fill in for the other guy who didn't come. (Thanks so much Fons! :D)
BUUUUUT... the film got exposed. So we have to do the shoot all over again on Thursday. :P
ICC / Discovery dive in Anilao! (09/16): LAVDET!
Shopping with Mama (09/17): It's been a long, long time since my mom and I shopped! The bad thing about shopping, however, is that it leaves you with a hangover. Reading magazines right after your shopping trip will definitely not help. Kaya kailangan na namang rumaket, tsk tsk.
Candy shoot (09/18): We did a situation shoot in Tomas Morato yesterday for the December ish. Would you believe that after the shoot I began humming The Christmas Song?!
Di' Mark's rewarded everyone with a lot of pizza (their Taco Pizza was awesome!) and pasta right after. Marla, Angel, and I were even able to take three flavors of pizza home! :P
(Seeing Marla again yesterday reminded me of how we've grown in the past two years. I missed those days when I was just a giddy high school girl and she was a power COC-er and we'd both regularly post at TeenTalk, talk about writing and blogging, etc. It really has been a long time!)
Today: ANG SARAP NG BUHAY NG WALANG STAT!!! Spent the morning with Khwekhkhwekh Sycipeers. May onting revelations at maraming kasabawan :)
May bentang singing antics kanina e. Kakantahan na nga lang ako ni Mico ng chorus ng Muling Ibalik, wala pa sa tono. Si Karen naman sinasayawan ako at kinakantahan ng "Life is good when you're having fun" na falsetto ang "fun"! Aysuuus!
Sana wala na lang Stat lagi :)
Plans for tomorrow? Scuba skill test and farewell party!
***
SEE YOU AT FESTA BOSSA!
If you don't have tickets yet, I'm selling some! Contact me! :D
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Um-Anilao!
Okay, so the whole diving experience was a bit overrated. I saw less than what I expected to see, probably because we only went 20 feet deep.
But there are a lot of reasons why my trip to Anilao for the International Coastal Clean-up was one of the best experiences I've ever had.
One, the sea is completely different from the 12-foot pool in Dive Rep. I drank a gallon of saltwater since our water entry was from the shore. The saltwater made my mouth dry and I found it quite hard to breathe through my regulator. My regulator--the link from your dear mouth to the oxygen tank--almost fell from my mouth since I was distracted when I attempted to check my depth gauge. Good thing I was able to bite it harder in time and finally purge the seawater that got in.
In the Scuba pool, negative buoyancy is forgivable. But not in open water. You have to be careful not to hit corals with your fins or you destroy them. So everytime I'd hit a coral and watch part of it break, I'd feel really guilty!
Two, Joy and I got lost! Although Joy and I did our best to keep close to each other during the entire dive, we lost our guide diver while taking pictures of the seabed! We ended up in that part of the part of the shore where the bancas were anchored so we had to battle the fierce waves to swim back to where we made our water entry.
Three, we had the funniest experiences during the Clean-up. Wading rocky shores for trash for almost the entire morning under the sun wasn't exactly my idea of a beach adventure but since we were actually there for the ICC, we had to do our part. Everyone had his or her share of peculiar objects found and we spent half of the time figuring out why those people dumped them into the sea. So much for "Siguro may nag-drugs" or "Ay, may inuman dito nu'n" hypotheses. And how could we forget about the quintessential diapers, urine bags, and the like? (Oh, and good guess, there was quite a number of condom comments!) Sorting trash has never been that fun.
Four, I actually received a special award--Ms. Body Beautiful! For some peculiar reason, I got awarded Ms. Body Beautiful. Clauds said it was because I was the only one parading in a bikini top (but hey, I dived wearing a shirt)! Walangya talaga o. The last time I received that award was when I joined Ms. Intrams back in first year high school and my body shape was utterly confusing.
Five, underwater pictures! Sir Dick and a couple of other divers took our pictures during the discovery dive. I just can't wait to see our pictures!
I got to bond with my Scuba classmates. There were only eight of us, with only me, Joy, and Clauds to represent the female portion of the class. And so we were left to the company of Jerome, Migs, Arnold, Emir (Mr. Pipo!), and Gary. We were all so noisy during the bus ride and, well, the whole trip itself! It's really amazing how easy the bonding becomes during field trips among classmates who never really talked to each other in class. At least we get to end the sem with new friends and fun, fun memories shared. Emir is so lovable since he's so bibo. Jerome and Migs were really funny with their hirits. Gary saved our impromptu class participation, while Arnold was also so daldal. Our team even won in the charades game! Too bad Mia and Mico weren't able to come! :(
I was part of the best threesome ever... with Joy and Clauds. The three of us were together the whole time (and sometimes with Mr. Pipo too) and we totally bonded over kampihan while teasing one of us, talking about other people who weren't there (ehem, ehem!), talking about our Khwekhie family, etc. We even have our Friendship Shells to prove how much the three of us have shared! ;)
I wasn't able to get the perfect tan, my hair's never been this dry, and I wasn't able to find Nemo--but yesterday was definitely one of my best beach memories ever. Cheers to this natural high!
Festa Bossa - I'm selling tix!
Treat yourselves to an exciting night of fantastic music and never-before- seen performances by Bossa Nova phenomenon Sitti Navarro with Nyko Maca, Brigada, and Chillitees on September 22, 2006 at the Ateneo College Covered Courts.
Festa Bossa Nova will also feature the artistry of Escola Brasileira de Capoeira and Planet Zips, as well as extra-special guest performances by Rock n' Roll fan favorites The Bloomfields and beatbox sensations Element #5
Tickets are at P230 each, inclusive of food! They are available at the gates or at our partner establishments: Chateau 1771, Chef and Brewer, Grams Diner (Mall of Asia), Sentro, Sidebar Café, Trellis, and Tanging Yaman stores in Gateway and Megamall.
Part of the proceeds will benefit the vaccination project of Rock Ed Philippines and the Jesuit Communications Foundation training programs, making this already-memorable event even more worthwhile!
I'm selling tickets! Leave a comment with your email and I'll message you ASAP :D
SEE YOU THERE!
***
Happy 21st, Ate Jack! :D
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Benta!
My favorite text message in Ald's inbox:
hi kuya ald! hulaan mo ko kung sino to -gabo
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Quizzing spree!
Do not mind this entry. :)
| Your Personality Is Like Acid |
 A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell! |
I just had to download the song! :P
| Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC |
 "Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last! |
Now this I did not know.
| Your Love Style is Agape |
 You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love. |
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Ruma-Rock Ed.
Rock Ed Philippines is now on SMS!
Type KEYWORD and send to 2948 for GLOBE and SUN, and 3940 SMART
ROCKEDPHIL About Rock Ed
ROCKEDPHIL D For Donations to Rock Ed
ROCKEDPHIL E Weekly Rock Ed Events
ROCKEDPHIL REG How to Register to Rock Ed Philippines TxtDomain
ROCKEDPHIL V How to Volunteer
Thanks Tricia M. Fernandez of Megamobile!
***
To anyone who's interested in donating books for RockEd to give out to different schools and institutions all over the country, email me at cheskulitATgmailDOTcom! You can also email rockedbookbigayanATyahooDOTcom.
Your help is very much appreciated. Thanks so much! :)
***
Interested in volunteering?
Another orientation for new volunteers will be held on Wednesday, September 13 at Libreria along Tomas Morato.
NO MORE EXCUSES, PHILIPPINES!
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Thought-vomit again.
SISIPUNIN NA AKO!
SISIPUNIN NA AKO!!
MATAPOS ATAKIHIN NG ALLERGY KO!!!
If there's one thing I will never forgive you for, it would be smoking right in front of me.
Masaya na sana 'yung rummage sale kung hindi lang nagyoyosi 'yung mga tao sa harap ko. Kumusta naman ang allergic sa cig smoke.
***
Kaya ba ako nahihilig sa emo tuwing heartbroken ako o may love problems kasi lyrics person ako? At dahil hindi ko naman ma-express ang mga hinaing ko sa taong fumufrustrate sa 'kin ay umi-emo-load na lang ako? At paulit-ulit kinakanta ang mga salitang hindi ko masabi-sabi?
***
Ang green ng Your Body Is A Wonderland pero gustung gusto ko pa rin siya :D
"I'll never let your head hit the bed without hand behind it."
"Damn baby, you frustrate me, I know you're mine all mine all mine,
But you look so good it hurts sometimes."
*melts*
***
Ba't ako tuma-Tagalog sa pagbablog ngayon? Hindi ko rin alam. Trip lang. Vomit ulit.
***
Bagong realization: Takot ako sa commitment, pero para sa akin, commitment lang ang makakapagpa-secure ng isang relasyon.
***
Gusto ko nang makita yung music vid na shinoot namin kanina para sa Midterms ni Bebe! :D
***
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TIN H.!
***
Isa pang realization: Malalaman mong attached ako sayo 'pag nagiging demanding ako. ;)
***
Papatayin ko ang sinumang kakanta ng Don't Cha sa harap ko. Kahit ikaw pa si Kuya Wally! :P
***
I, Chesca Sumilang, do thereby declare that at this point in my life, I am generally happy :) Aysusba.
Friday, September 01, 2006
In dire need of Stresstabs.
Bakit andaming may birthday ng September? Haha angst e. Tas andami pang gagawin. Bakiiiit?
***
Sinubok ng araw na ito ang aking pasensya. Dumating yung lola ko tas hindi pa namin mapababa 'tong lagnat ni Ald. Eto 'yun e, hinati na nga namin ni Ate Pam ang katawan namin para maasikaso ang lola ko at ang nilalagnat kong kapatid pero stressed na stressed pa rin kami. Buti na lang andyan sina Ate Wyeens at Kuya Wally.
***
Ayoko pang mag-bukas! Andaming gagawin. Rawr. Dapat nga natutulog na 'ko ngayon kasi 4 AM ang call time ko kay Bebe. :P E maghahanda pa akong gamit para bukas. May dalawa rin akong meeting bukas, yung sa Rock Ed at dun sa models' meeting para sa event nina Patty. At siyempre, Psychsoc rummage sale kung saan ako'y magbabantay nang dalawang oras. All in one day, beybeh.
***
Uy, 1 ngayon. Haha. Wala lang. Isang buwan na since... Pero nakakatawa. Ibang iba na ang taong nakilala niyo noong August 1. Shariiiing. :P
***
POTEK ALDRICH GUMALING KA NA PLEASE?!
***
Kagabi ko lang na-realize na may significance pala ang #13 sa buhay ko. Kala ko pa naman isusumpa ko ang malas na numerong 'yun forever and ever! :P
***
Ang ganda ng Starbucks name ko kanina wheeee! :D
"One pumpkin spice frappucino for--"
***
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATRINA ALIGAM NA IN DENIAL NA CHINITA SIYA!
Dahil ikaw ang nagpakita sa akin na napakaliit ng mundo natin. Haha. Dahil kilala ng lola ko ang tita mo at hello, sa town pa 'yun sa Pangasinan diba? At dahil sa isang silid lang tayo nag-take ng USTET (...at nakilala mo 'ko!). At dahil isa ka sa mga una kong nakilala sa UP dahil pare-pareho tayong hindi alam kung ano ang gagawin noong enrollment.
Wala ka nang kawala. Sabay na tayong makakasuhan at makukulong ngayon! :P
